Part Four

Reconciliation.

That's a good word, better than compromise. Compromise is usually simply a midway point between two opposing positions. Usually the conseqence is mediocrity, or dissatisfaction for both parties since neither get what they really want.
Reconcilliation is a process. It involves understanding and acceptance. Full acceptance. The outcome is wanted. Understanding and acceptance results in a change of wants.
That is what happened to me after I arrived in Trinidad and I accepted that Becky was right and I was wrong. And she accepted and acknowledged that she was wrong in certain issues too.
I came to understand that to be successful in a relationship, one had to accept three principles, and develop the skills to practice these principles.
The three principles are: To Love at all times. To resolve problems rationally, without withdrawing Love, avoiding the use of Fight or Flight. And, to focus ones' attention on self improvement rather than on improving the behavior of the other person.

So we decided to give the relationship another chance.

A year later we got married.

Having a good relationship is like having any skill, whether it is athletic skills or musical skills, they all need practice, lots of it. And practice means practicing the right behavior. Doing the same thing over and over again, if that thing is wrong, does not make you better abled, only more annoying. So we try to practice the right moves, the right behavior. It's not easy when the wrong behaviors have become well entrenched habits.
But like a bad swing in golf, it takes a tremendous amount of patience, and motivation, and the practice of the better swing, to make a significant improvement.

Motivation is essential.

And motivation can only come with true love. I do truly love Becky, and that is my fuel to the engine called motivation. Without the fuel, there is no energy to drive ones' will to succeed.

I am living in a state of Joy, a feeling that is exhilerating.

Joy is a state reached as a consequence of Being grateful, to be alive, to be a human on this planet. It is a consequence of having foregiven all who have made mistakes or who have hurt me in the past. It is a consequence of being able to experience Love. Loving all of Gods' creations, loving as a form of giving, rather than domination, is true love, and it's that form of love which brings Joy. I have found it. It's wonderful.

We have a home on land now. We realized that living full time on a sailboat is not for us. We still like to sail, but we now use Half Moon to sail the winter months only. We also learned that we like conveniences, good food, beautiful scenery, anchorages that are peaceful. So we are selective, and by limiting the time on the boat, we can enjoy life on land, and also look forward a vacation on the water, in the Caribbean.

The Journey continues..always trying to separate reality from fantasy, always trying to improve our behavior towards each other. The journey is good. The cup appears to be half full but that is just an illusion of perception, an illusion of the senses. The cup is always full. Like the moon.

Yes, Half Moon is a good name for my sailboat.