PART Two

PART TWO

THE JOURNEY , SAILING


What is this trip all about?

Is it a journey into self discovery?

Is it simply just a change in lifestyle from living in a house with all its conveniences but also trappings , to living on a boat with all its inconveniences but freedom to travel from place to place?

The conflict between the negatives and positives creates a dynamic tension which feeds self awareness. This fodder needs to be used effectively. Perhaps this experience can also be used as a source of learning for others thinking of doing a similar adventure.

It’s interesting to note the reactions of people when I told them of my plans to sell everything and move onto a sailboat. These reactions reflect the paradigms that exist. It’s amazing to realize how wrong people can be with their perceptions and conclusions. If people are wrong about the world of living on a sailboat, what else are they wrong about? Probably most everything.

Why is reality so hard to grasp?In my experience, I have found that without a substantial, almost daily living of the experience, knowledge about the situation is distorted and substantially incorrect. I have learned a lot about the Plastics Industry and Polyurethanes in particular, but it took working in the Industry 35 years. I know a lot about horses because of 30 years’ involvement, but it wasn’t a full time involvement, hence I believe I still have a lot to learn.So you can imagine all my misperceptions about sailing and living aboard a sailboat.

So let’s list some of my positive views starting out.
1) The most important reason to live on a sailboat is that it will allow me to visit a lot of different places, such as the Bahamas and the Caribbean islands. Maybe even sail to Europe or the South Pacific.
2) I don’t have to worry about grass, or snow removal.
3) There’s something really cozy about living in a small area. Or, that may be a negative.
4) It forces you to become more self reliant. Or, that may be a negative.
5) You can live more cheaply, maybe. But a boat depreciates while a house goes up in value (well, not always).

The negatives.
1) Weather…Hurricanes!!!! Being so much at the mercy of weather. It’s a real loss of control.
2) Boredom, the selection of things to do is limited.
3) Limitations of not having a car.
4) Maintenance of the boat is tedious work.I think an overall statement can be made that the cruising life is full of uncertainty, change is continuous.

The ability to adapt to change and learn new skills is vital. Good health, strong discipline, agility, and the ability to get along with one’s mate, are the key ingredients necessary to succeed in this lifestyle.

Being close to Nature has been an important consideration for me. I’ve always felt joy when close to Nature, and, stress when in the city. I dislike the city, though not to the point where I do not ever want to enjoy some of its’ attributes, occasionally. A small farm could work for me too. A few horses, some chickens, a nice garden, is quite attractive as an alternative to cruising.

The cruising life places one very close to Nature too, including the perils of hurricanes and the possibility of loss of life. But this peril is far less likely than getting hit by a car and dying when on land. So I would conclude that loss of life should not enter into the comparison. Rather, we should stick with a simple model.
Farm/land vs. boat/water.
Rooted vs. nomad

Nothing needs to be permanent.But if I don’t sail now, I never will. Ageing is my enemy with his lifestyle.Engaging the neo cortex is critical, as always. Emotions and feelings need to be considered and understood. This is about making a deliberate choice, based on facts not fiction. Get all the facts including those stemming from your most inner being. But get the facts not the fiction. Know the causal relationships and get to the real issues. Make your choice knowing it’s not forever. Experiment to learn new information. The decision is hard when you lack all the relevant information. The decision can be wrong when you base it on fiction.Don’t be afraid of being wrong. Move ahead as this contributes to learning. Experience is needed. Touch, feel, sense, taste the life and then you’ll know better.So I choose to cruise, it's now or never!

Sailing life can be a humbling experience. Being outside your area of expertise requires a strong will to not feel foolish, incompetent and weak. It’s a learning experience. It requires a person to become very self reliant. That’s a good thing because self reliance is needed for many functions in Life, not just sailing.

I am a klutz. I have to accept that fact. Just like I’ve accepted that I’m not athletic. I’m not mechanically minded either. I’m not agile. I don’t think in mechanical terms. I think in abstract concepts. I can look at things and figure out strategies. I can figure out probabilities. I’m futuristic. I have a lot of wonderful talents. She’ll just have to learn to accept me the way I am, not make fun of me, and love me this way. Or not. That’s her choice and her responsibility. My responsibility is to accept me the way I am.By accepting myself, a huge burden is removed, and the stress goes away.
That’s the reality. Anything else is fantasy, wishful thinking.

I can grow a beard and look like a sailor, but that doesn’t make me a sailor. I can sail a boat, but that still doesn’t make me a sailor, only in the eyes of the unfamiliar will I pass for a sailor. But if being handy, and mechanically minded is a prerequisite for being a true sailor, then I’m not and never will be, a true sailor. I can not transform myself into someone I’m not.
I’ll never be mechanical, athletic, or even a great dancer. I have to accept that as reality.
A great baseball pitcher is not a great home run hitter. He accepts that fact and is Self Actualized when he accepts himself for who he is. Why not accept that I’m good at some things and not good at other things?
So maybe this is what this trip is all about. Dealing with who am I really and accepting who I am. Maybe that’s it for Becky too. Accepting who I am.



This journey is clearly a journey into self discovery. Being who I am and who I can become is very appealing and it makes all of the difficulties worthwhile. I learned a long time ago that stress, tension, conflict and adversity, are the drivers of self awareness, change, and growth . This clearly applies to this boating lifestyle.If Self Actualization is a result of using the full capacity and potential of the brain, in a TOTAL fashion, then perhaps the problem will be solved through a time dependant process. Is a person ever truly Self Actualized, or does a person simply work within the process of Becoming Self Actualized? I think it’s the latter, and to the observer, that person appears to Be Self Actualized.So, for me, I need to continually examine the results of my actions and determine whether these results are truly satisfying me, view the results as consequences of actions taken, and then figure out what actions would bring improved consequences.

I have made a decision to cruise. At this point in time it’s premature to evaluate whether the decision was a good one. The results are not in yet. But, it’s a certainty that the results will not be satisfying if my actions are not correct… “garbage in, garbage out”. If I am to enjoy this lifestyle, I need to be good at many things which, so far, is new and outside my comfort zone based on previous experience. As I feel the discomfort of the new lifestyle, I gravitate back to thoughts of areas for which I have some expertise and, therefore, comfort. These include desires to train horses, be a psychologist, examine balance sheets and income statements, etc.

Applied to the cruising lifestyle, the question would be posed this way: Should I be a Sailor if I am not mechanically handy or should I become mechanically handy so that I can be a Sailor? Is there a gene that controls and determines mechanical ability? There is a genetic component to athletic ability, musical ability, conceptualization and mathematical ability…so is there a mechanical ability gene? If there is such a gene, will I always be dependant on good mechanics and boat yards? Can Becky keep me on the right path of proper attentiveness to the tasks required for sufficient seamanship? Or will she lose respect for me because of my inabilities in this area? Will I lose interest because I’m not intrinsically mechanically minded, nor even a true sailor? I don’t know the answer to these questions, but I do know that it will require the passage of time and the proper amount of dedication to learn and succeed.But is this trait really a genetic predisposition? Or, did early successes and failures mold the future direction of interests and therefore increasing ability and inability? If the latter, then weak areas can be addressed and substantially improved. If the former, then some improvement can still be realized, but a dependence on strategy and tactics to compensate for weaknesses would be important. I don’t really know which is correct. I believe such traits as musical ability and athletic ability are mostly genetic, but I’m not sure if mechanical ability is genetic or learned. I am sure that some learning, and therefore improvement, can take place. It is not a major issue and I can enjoy a lifestyle of cruising regardless because I’m capable of learning. Whether I ever enjoy it is another matter. But I am capable of becoming better than I am currently and I’m capable of enjoying cruising as a consequence of achieving a greater capability than the level where I am now.It continues to be hot and somewhat boring.

I’m increasingly getting concerned about alcoholism. Why do boaters drink so much? Why do we drink everyday? I don’t think this is healthy. I intend to stop drinking everyday, even if it means stopping completely.Is it due to boredom?



Half Moon is a good name for my sailboat. It symbolizes not only illusions but also reality. Half Moon is yin and yang, it’s the cup, half full or half empty. To a pessimist, Half Moon is lacking something. It’s deficient like a cup that is half empty…not enough…disappointing. To the optimist, the cup is almost full, quite full in fact. But still disappointing since it turns out that it isn’t as full as she thought. In both cases, disappointment is the result and unhappiness is the feeling experienced. The outcome to this is that the person loves the cup less and less until there is no love for the cup, in fact sometimes even hatred. Why does this cup disappoint me all the time?To the realist, the cup is always whole. It’s the water in it that occupies half it’s volume. Drinking from the cup brings no disappointment. Only joy, as the water is refreshing and it quenches the thirst. Even after drinking from the cup, it remains intact. The cup never runs dry.

Ignorance is bliss….someone said that and it stuck. There is some truth to that. Maybe that is why some people prefer not to discuss weighty subjects. Island Time may offer a return to the simple life, to a life where the day is filled with simple tasks, such as provisioning, cooking, fixing, cleaning, swimming, traveling, anchoring, having a drink…and so on. No bills to pay, no money to earn, no obligations to others, a sort of return to the womb. It’s appealing to most, especially to the stressed. No TV, no world news, no shootings, no reminders of the stressful life we lead, now past tense. Escape to paradise.Yet disappointment will follow, as boredom and meaningless activity result in a life that is not contributing to God’s Plan. This can work for a few years. A cleansing from the past. A time to reflect and a time to shed old habits, to kick the addictions and to learn new and better behaviors. That is the value of the Journey.

Every man’s path is unique. There is no Plan. There is only a path that is the result of turns taken and turns not taken. A process of continuous change, adaptation and trial and error. Lessons learned, applied or not, mistakes made and remade. At the end of the road is nothingness. There is no final destination. Just ashes to ashes, dust to dust. A few are immortalized by their actions. Most die having affected their children and a few friends. Many times the affect has been negative, a problem which needs to be solved by the younger generation.

As for me, I don’t know what turn I will make next. I do know that I’m happiest when I’m in touch with Nature. I smile when I see birds, dolphins, horses, cats and dogs, beautiful flowers and lush greenery. Snow capped mountains, sprawling fields of wild flowers, the smell of horse sweat, blue lakes, surf in the ocean, the oceans’ salt and decaying marine life. The color of coral and myriads of fish.I sail but I am not a sailor. Sailing is a mode of transportation and a means to experience the ocean and the coral reefs that I love so much. Sailing is like skiing or horseback riding…a recreation. Can it become a lifestyle? Can I become a sailor? Time will tell.

All Islands are basically the same. Beaches, swimming, some sight seeing, beautiful flowers…etc. Travel needs to include some sailing. We like to sail and we need to sail. We need to travel. This is about travel, sailing, warm weather, simplicity, and escape from mind numbing TV and News. The sailboat has some challenges, maintenance, the sailing itself, and the dealing with weather. All of that can be dealt with and a feeling of self sufficiency and self worth is begotten. Contact with one’s true self is inevitable, and self actualization is possible. It’s cleansing and rejuvenating. A person can be reborn. Time will reveal whether or not this lifestyle is sufficient or if it’s boring. For now, I like it a lot.


The practice of TOTAL is fine until one is caught up and focused on a difficult or stressful task. Then the stress of the task is the emotional input that locks out the functioning of TOTAL. Mental resources become confined to the task. TOTAL seems not possible without some form of de- focus from the task. I need to experiment with that. The other day, while docking against the forces of strong winds, I lost TOTAL while focused on the docking maneuver. In those moments of heightened alert and focus, of stress and anxiety over whether or not I will succeed, I lose TOTAL. Is TOTAL itself a theoretical , but not practical, concept? Time and continued effort will tell…but perhaps it doesn’t work.

I know one thing…. I can not count on Becky to change her behavior in order to help me. She either does not understand or she has as much difficulty changing her behavior as I have changing mine.Overcoming the tendency to be rude when angry is the single most important task I have to accomplish if I am to succeed with being a partner in a relationship. I can kiss this Sailing Life goodbye if I fail. I can only focus on my behavior. That is the only thing I can change. Or can I even change that?Of course I can. I have Free Will. God gave me Free Will. Why is it so hard to use it?

I talk too much.

Thinking does not require talking.

What is the point? I ask myself this question these days. Retirement brings new challenges to the need for goal oriented behavior. Prior, one spends a great deal of time working. To earn a living and save for retirement. Working 50 hours a week requires some down time to relax and restore the batteries so you can go back to work. But after you stop working, what is the goal? I suppose it would be an easy answer to say, stay alive, stay healthy, live to an old age. So activities could be directed at staying stress free, eating and exercising, and enjoying the bounties of the Planet. The sailboat offers the opportunity to travel and experience places I could not readily while employed.But for some reason, I feel guilty, perhaps bored, perhaps a feeling of meaninglessness, whatever that is exactly is hard to describe, but a feeling nonetheless. An “ennui”.

Self discovery is good. Self improvement is good. But this “self” centeredness seems not so good. Is it a conditioned response? A guilt?Can I look forward to each day even if it means doing virtually nothing? Am I conditioned to feel guilty if I don’t accomplish something meaningful? Or is this an innate need ? I just can’t stop thinking that I need to do something more meaningful...something to make this a better world. To give something of myself back. It nags at me.

I look at people who do nothing but get drunk everyday and I feel loathing. I know absolutely that this lifestyle is not for me.Retirement is being free from having to work for a living. Having a lot more “free time”. But what to do with this “free time”.

And is time really important? Is time a concept of fiction. Time is measured in sunrises and seasons. But time is infinite. So how important is a day, a week , a year? If importance is to be a form of measurement, then what is important? What makes anything “important”?In the big scheme, saving the Planet from destruction is “important”. Since humans are the most dangerous predator to the Planet, then educating and motivating humans is “important”. One life is less important than the well being of the Planet, but one life is worth saving if that life is dedicated to saving rather than destroying the Planet. Each life needs to be examined and each life must take a decision….to be a savior or a destroyer. You start by saving yourself, by being healthy, and intelligent, and wise. I distinguish wisdom from intelligence by saying success is 10% idea and 90% execution. Being intelligent is only the 10%. Knowing how to effectively apply that intelligence is wisdom.This is where I’m failing. I know a lot but I don’t know how to apply it. This needs to become my objective, my goal, and what I will do now with my “free time”.


Retirement.

It’s difficult to find the right way to spend time. After the traveling and provisioning, the swimming and cleaning and eating and planning and reading, there isn’t much time left in a day. But the guilt is there, the guilt that I am not doing something meaningful. I’m not solving the problems of the World. I see many problems. But I’m not doing anything. Where does action begin? Is picking up trash on the beach a worthwhile activity? Not for me.I resent that the very rich can have huge homes here and enjoy the Island, yet what do they give back?Is it envy?Am I lazy?Do I really care?When am I happiest?A loving partner, a look at anything beautiful. Sunsets, sunrises, waves on the water, fish, coral, birds, a little crab. The feel of wind in the sails. Quiet. A good meal, good sex, a restful sleep.

We should elect people to power who care about the problems of the World, for they have the power to make changes. Individuals have the power to vote. Individuals have the power to not throw garbage onto the beach. Individuals have the power to not kill endangered species, to not buy drugs, to get an education, to learn a skill, to lend a helping hand.It may be just that simple after all. The Individual need not change the world. Just lend a helping hand whenever it’s needed and whenever it’s possible. But the gift of life is a gift, not a debt.Enjoy life, be good.For me, this means travel, swim, see. Eat well, sleep well, be happy, loving, caring. Live life fully.Do not wait for death, do not fear that which is not dangerous.Be Free, free from all addictions.

Yes, I may.

Yes, I may. I may give myself choice and permission.I’m not a saint, far from it, I’m a human with faults. I can become mean when angry. But I’m also a human who is wonderful, kind and giving. I just do not tolerate criticism. I will not be judged by anyone but me or God. I judge sufficiently. I do not need, nor want, anyone else’s criticism. They may choose to love me, hate me, or ignore me. That is their choice. But an unsolicited lecture is not welcomed. Therein lies my problem with Becky. She is constantly scorning, criticizing, demanding, and lecturing. At this stage in my life that is very annoying, irritating beyond description.And she just doesn’t get it. She does it with her daughter too. Who knows, she may have done it with all her family and loved ones.
Yes, we had another fight. This time it was different for me. I was in a good mood, not stressed at all, no early signs of anxiety and potential to be angry. We had just finished furling the jib and a sheet had caught on the forward hatch requiring us to take our attention away from where we were and I lost sight of Point Set Rock. Becky saw it and pointed it our to me and I was surprised that we had come completely around 180 degrees. I expressed that surprise and used the “F” word, casually. I got a scornful look and when I asked what was that look for she launched into a lecture and angry criticism of my constant use of the “F” word. That irritated me and I lost it. I got angry, defensive and , yes, rude. Once again, I failed to maintain my TOTAL focus. Her anger at me raised my emotions and TOTAL got short circuited. I was caught off guard. I did not expect, and so did not prepare, for her criticism, her scornful look. I wasn’t able to intercede with TOTAL. I lost it.

I won’t know until I live it fully. There is a part of me that wants to escape from the trappings of modern life, the TV, movies, traffic, cars, furnishings, etc. Yet there is a part of me that doesn’t want to escape.There is a part to me that seeks a warm climate, a simple life where swimming, fishing, eating, reading and writing, occupy my time. Yet I fear boredom, illness without good medical care, and lack of good food.I think that by traveling down the path of Plan 1, it will be revealed to me, just with what and where I am comfortable. Meanwhile, I must be patient, without the answer.

There are many types of sailors/boaters here. There are those who use their boats as a means of transportation with a built in home. These fall into three classes. Those who are tourists and are short term travelers, those who are tourists and are long term travelers, and those who are true travelers. The latter are a restless kind looking for something. Then there are those who are not travelers but rather just use their boats as a floating home, cheap waterfront property. There are many of these here in the Hope Town Harbor. These more often are power boaters, though many have sailboats. They are the “regulars” . Some end up buying property and they still participate in the “cruisers net”.Among the travelers, there are Nomads, true travelers with virtually no possessions other than their sailboat. They are happiest when moving. But not all travelers are Nomads. Some travel to see places and to discover where they wish to settle down. It is this group to which I belong.

A year later…A lot has happened.

We spent the summer in Luperon. It was a long 4 months. Becky went back for a week to visit her family. We had sped through the Southern Bahamas to get to the Turks because she needed to catch a flight to be at her daughters’ graduation in early June and that put us in Luperon by mid June. That was much earlier than I had planned, originally. It made the stay in Luperon far too long. We left October 13 and were delighted to be on the move again, finally!

Puerto Rico was an eye opener. The convenience of the US, and its’ efficiency and effectiveness, along with Caribbean weather and beaches, mountains etc, drove home the point that I like it better when I’m not in a too remote and backward country and I’m able to speak the language.Meanwhile, I am enjoying this lifestyle. I feel much less pressure to be working at some meaningful endeavor. I am more convinced that simplicity is best. Less is more.

Have I learned something about myself that I didn’t know before?

I have learned that habits are hard to break.I have learned that I can learn new skills but it takes a lot of time.I have learned that emotions over ride reasoning. That Enlightenment is like hindsight vision. The vision is wonderful. The vision may even be considered insightful, but it is a vision in hindsight. I now believe I was wrong to think that I could control my emotions with a neo cortex that is fully in control 24/7.

Monks achieve a state of mind over mind but they are immersed in an artificial world without the stresses of new challenges, new skills being demanded.I have been stressed and challenged to become someone different than who I have been for 60 years. I have been stressed by criticism of my abilities and even criticism of my character, to which I reacted strongly and passionately. The Law of Physics is very clear. To each action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Disrespect received results in disrespect given. Distrust begets distrust, and so on.Love begets Love, but disrespect nullifies and extinguishes Love.Becky has been either unwilling or unable to grasp this concept. Or she is just extremely intolerant of a weakness in character.

I have noticed that there are many kinds of “cruisers”. Some are people on vacation, a very long vacation. They are tourists all the time. They visit islands like tourists, first reading about the points of interest and then renting a car or taxi to go and visit these places. They also enjoy beaches and snorkeling. But these people need other people, guests, to come and visit them so that they can be motivated to continue this vacationing type of lifestyle, by having people vacation with them. These people are indeed coming on a vacation and that helps to spur the vacation-like activities.

I am not on vacation.

I am retired, I don’t need to work, but my home is my boat. I live like a person on land except that I live on a boat. That boat allows me to move to another anchorage if I am no longer satisfied where I am.I do like to travel, to sail when the weather and sea conditions are excellent.

But I am not a tourist. Forts, museums and so on do not really appeal to me. I live an existence to eat, sleep, love and just enjoy the sunrises and sunsets. I enjoy learning about what makes things work well, especially as it applies to people and their behavior. I’d like to write a book and contribute to society in some small but meaningful way.I have had a good life, not free of stress, not free of sadness, disappointments, failures, mistakes, and confusions. A good life nevertheless. I measure success by measuring my sense of freedom. Freedom to be who I am and not a slave to another person , drug, or bad habits like gambling, adulterous behavior, lying and cheating. In that measure I have been successful enough, good enough, not perfect, not flawless, but good enough. I am basically happy, content that even with a cup half full, I can enjoy it’s contents without regret that it is only half full, or envy for others; whose cup may be overflowing. I don’t feel poor when I find myself next to others with nicer, newer boats. It is a wonderful feeling to be free from the chains of envy.

However, the most important form of success, for me, has been difficult to attain. That is to Love and be Loved. While I feel that I can Love, though I am very selective, I have not felt being Loved often enough. Being Loved means being Loved for who I am, and not for who someone wants me to become, or because I bring financial security and a sense of self esteem for a person who considers me a “good catch”.

So, I have become what the cruisers call “ a live-a- board”. Cheap waterfront property, in Paradise. For Becky, that is not what she wants. She wants to be a cruiser like tourist and a sailor. But she has found that being a tourist is not something one can do for a long time. And, sailing the oceans is not like sailing a small lake. The oceans are capricious, dangerous, and not very cooperative. Boats break down and the consequences are far more significant and debilitating than breakdowns in a house. The mere chore of provisioning food and parts for the boat is a challenge, a hassle and difficult in many places. Wind becomes as much an enemy as a friend, and many times a much more severe adversary than one can handle. Hurricanes and the threat of hurricanes dampen ones’ enjoyment of living on a boat for almost 5 out of 12 months of the year. That is almost half of the time. High winds or low winds, winds from the wrong direction, all contribute to frustrations and a feeling that one is not in control. Many times you feel stuck, waiting for the right winds and sea state.

So, what is good about this lifestyle? Not very much, according to Becky and she has decided to move back on land.

As for me, I like it. I like being on the water with no grass to mow no snow to shovel, no neighbors if I choose. No traffic and cars to avoid. I like the warm weather and cooler breezes at night. I have yet to discover whether I like it as much or better if I live alone, however. Time is needed.I may give it up too. It may be that I find myself to be too remote from people with whom I wish to be with.I have come to be very close to God. I can listen and hear Him, and He helps me when I am confused. He sends messengers and I have learned how to listen and hear the message. This has helped me immensely numerous times. Now is such a time.

He has sent me three messengers.

One said…..”it’s all about money for women. Spend enough on them and they will be happy”. “ After all, sex will soon become unnecessary. I have my own interests apart from hers and I can pursue them and she hers’. We are together and we are apart”.
The other said……“we live six months in our home and six months on our boat. We have stored our boat in Antigua the past 8 years and are very happy.”
The third said……“I have found that after the romancing and the courting is over, relationships either continue to improve or they deteriorate and end up failing to be sustained.” “Ours has continued to improve over the past 30 years.”

So what consequences should I infer from these messages?The first is that a foundation is critical if one is to build a house that can be sustained. That is the meaning of the third message.The second is that too much of anything can lead to boredom. Variety is important. That is the message from the first and second messengers.The third is that if you find yourself with a partner that does not quite fit with your plans and desires, if you have enough money, you can still satisfy both persons needs. That is the message from the first messenger.

The foundation for a successful partnership with another person consists of three essential ingredients:
1) Love and affection
2) An intelligent, rational, unemotional problem solving procedure to resolve conflicts.
3) A focus solely on ones’ own behavior and not a critical approach to your partners’ shortcomings.

Becky and I failed in our relationship because we failed to have the last 2 ingredients in our daily recipe of actions.But sometimes it takes more than two attempts to get it right.I believe I can do #2, but only with a partner who can do it also, because it is too frustrating to do it without reciprocation. That frustration leads to a breakdown and then sarcasm and anger becomes the resulting behavior.Number 3 is tricky, similar to #2, it’s like a dance. We must both do the Tango or else it doesn’t work. Some people are poor dancers. They are best at dancing by themselves, hence the popularity of today’s forms of dances, gyrating on the dance floor, near your partner but not leading your partner. This form of dance reflects a kind of selfishness and an independence from, rather than a dependence on, each other. Yet, the irony is that these same, so called independent people, are very much dependent on the other for security and self esteem. And no one wants to be dependent on someone who is weak or untrustworthy. Hence, the difficulty to achieve #3.

I am no longer a cruiser. I’m a live aboard, a harbor rat. So what do live a boards do?They do what live on land in a house do. Except they have different maintenance tasks. I need to get to know the island and it’s offerings. I’ll rent a car from time to time. Find where I can meet people. Go to a gym, a movie, restaurants, bars, sporting events, and whatever else I may think of and is available. On the boat, I write, read, eat, sleep. Maybe I can get TV reception?

I plan to write a lot.

There are many kinds of sailors. Some are day sailors, others sail weekends, some even go away for vacation, a week or two at a time. But when you retire, you now have the opportunity to sail a lot. You can become a full time cruiser. A cruiser visits many places, and uses his boat as a home. It’s like owning an RV and seeing the whole country over an extended period of time. Some cruisers cruise for 6 months and return home for the other six months. Many of these cruise southern waters in the winter and return home for the summer. That way they also deal with having the boat and themselves in a safe place for the summer hurricane season which, officially, is June 1 to Nov 30. Still others go on a longer journey and cruise the whole year round. These have to figure out a strategy to be in a safe place for the hurricane season.It is this latter type that I thought I was in. We cruised for 2 years, starting in Beaufort N.C. mid March 2006. We summered at a marina in Charleston, S.C for that first summer. It was a long 4 months in a marina, hot, and somewhat boring. But we had A/C and at that time we had a vehicle with which to get around and my house in Detroit was still up for sale, so we needed to stay reasonably close.

We sailed to the Bahamas and spent the winter there, ending up in Luperon, Dominican Republic for the 4 months of the 2007 hurricane season. Again, it was hot, and boring. But we made it without experiencing the horrors of a hurricane. Luperon is a very safe hurricane hole.

Once we left, it was very nice, except we could not sail much. Heading east while the trade winds blow, from the east, is difficult, so we motored a lot. Puerto Rico was great as was the Virgin Islands. We had some mechanical problems which took some of the sailing and visiting days away from us as we tended to those issues. Eventually we made it to St.Martin, then St.Barth, St.Kitts, Nevis, Montserrat, Guadeloupe, and finally, now we are in Antigua.We enjoyed visiting the islands, renting a car and truly seeing these places, but in the end, we did not spend our time like tourists on vacation. The islands started to resemble each other, similar beaches, similar botanical gardens, rain forests, etc. In short, the drudgery of provisioning, the endless waiting for a good weather window, reading, writing, eating, sleeping ( when the harbor was not rolling), all these factors added up to boredom out weighing the excitement of reaching a new destination. So let’s face it, we have become live a boards. We have no house as it sold last year, so our boat is our home.

The situation has changed dramatically for me. Becky, my first mate, does not want to be a live a board. She has decided to go home and has taken a one way ticket back.

I will stay with the boat. One of the issues of living in a space as small as a sailboat 24/7, for 2 years with virtually no time away from each other, is that the stresses of the lifestyle is released mainly through actions directed at your partner. My frustrations and resulting anger gets vented in her direction, hers’ in mine. She complained a lot, criticized many aspects of this lifestyle and in so doing dampened what pleasures we could have obtained by casting a dark cloud over most everything. I did not react well to that. We argued and fought too much. So now it’s over, and I am alone, in Antigua, the bulls’ eye for the hurricanes crossing the Atlantic, from Africa.

So a live a board in Antigua, with plans to go to Grenada, probably. Time will tell how this unfolds, but no doubt it will unfold as it should.How do I spend the day?I get up in the morning and make coffee, read the morning news. I write for 1-2 hours, I swim for 30 minutes and then shower off. Go into town and buy some provisions. Come back and read the noon update for the news. Have lunch. Read a book for one hour, take a small nap. Catch the mid afternoon news and closing stock market action. Make supper, read for an hour, catch up on e-mails, go to sleep.On weekends, I’ll go to the beaches.

What a Life!!



.